Lessons in Islamic Ethics
Manners of Dressing
People dress for a number of reasons
1. to cover themselves
2. to keep warm
3. to feel and look smart
All these reasons are fine, but some people dress to show off and to look attractive so that other people can stare at them. This is not right since you are using the clothes to make other people gaze at your body.
"If a person dresses up and prides himself over others by because of his clothes, a flame of hell overtakes him, and he will swing in it until the day of Judgement."
This means that he will be punished partly in this life (i.e. part of hell in this life). The punishment can be no friends, or no happiness, no satisfaction.
Your body is precious and private. It has been lent to you from Allah is yours to look after. You should not abuse it, and you should not use it as a show for others. You see, if something is expensive and important, it will be guarded and kept away so that people don't use it and damage it, but if something is cheap, it will be left there for everybody to see and use, and no one will care about it. What is more precious than your body?. To ensure that you guard its respect you dress in such a way that it is not exposed more than necessary.
When you dress, you should make sure that the clothes you wear are not so tight that the shape of your body is seen. Also you should be careful not to wear certain clothes to certain places.
You would not wear jeans if you were invited to see the Queen, so why wear jeans when you go to the mosque, to be closer to Allah?
You can wear jeans at home or when you go out, but you should try and avoid them in places like the mosque. This is simply because there is a certain respect attached with certain clothes.
Even at home, you should make sure that you are dressed properly. It is very poor Akhlaq to walk around the home without a shirt, or to walk around wearing only your underwear or boxer shorts. It may sound funny, but many people do this.
If you start to treat your own body as cheap, then don't complain when others also treat you as if you were cheap and worthless.
This means to give others from what you have, to give plenty, and not just a little bit.
There are many ways of being generous, some of them are:
1. donating to a charity
2. giving food to the needy
3. spending your time to help others.
To be generous you do not have to have money. You can be generous by spending your time helping people.
Children and young people often think that to donate something you should be an adult. This is not true. If a child donates something, it means more to Allah than if an adult donated the some thing. This is because the child is not earning and does not have much, and so is giving away something which is more precious to him/her, than it is to the adult.
In Qur'an (Surah 92 Ayat 5-7) Allah says,
".....As for him who GIVES AWAY and guards himself against evil and believes in the best, We will smoothen for him the path unto bliss."
Prophet Muhammad (S) has said,
"A generous person is a friend of Allah, and a miser is an enemy of Allah."
What do you understand by the hadith above?
This means to be AWARE of one's status according to Islam.
In Islam we are told that one man is no better than another. Hence humility means to know that you are no better than anyone else, and that is how you should behave. The greatest enemy of humility is your NAFS. Whenever you do something good, your nafs tells you that you have done something great and it tells you what a great person you are and carries on praising you ..... etc...etc.
This means that YOU must protect YOURSELF against getting "big headed."
Our 4th Imam (A) says in Sahifa e Kamila:
"O Lord, do not honour me even one degree among the people unless You lower me to an equal amount in my own soul.
Create for me no outward respect unless You have created for me an equal amount of HUMILIATION in my spirit."
The opposite of humility is arrogance/pride. This means to think of yourself as better than someone else. This was Iblis's (Shaitan's) mistake and this is why he was cursed.
What is a humble person like ? Does he go around doing Tasbeeh all day ?
NO, he does not. The sign of a humble person can be explained by the words of Imam Ali (A):
"From the signs of humility is to be content with any place in an assembly, to salute when you meet, to abandon quarrels and discord even if you were on the right; and not to except (love) praise for your fear of Allah."
A person who is humble is said to have modesty. That means he does not go around telling everybody how great he is. Nor does he become proud when others praise him.
Why should we be humble?
By being humble, we are showing to the world that Allah has created all men equal, whether they are black, brown, white or yellow.
We are showing that the only person who is greater in the eye's of Allah is the person who has Taqwa (ashamed of displeasing Allah).
Our Holy Prophet (S) has said:
"Pride enters the heart like a black ant crawling over a black rock at night."
This shows how easily pride can overtake us, and also shows the importance of being humble so as to protect yourself against pride.
In the Du'a after Asr prayers we say to Allah
"My Lord , whatever talents I have got, it is but from You."
If we want to remain humble, we should always remember this sentence and say it to ourselves EVERY time we do something good, or come first or win something. That way we will stop our nafs from praising us, and make it praise Allah.
The Holy Prophet (S) has said:
"Indeed, humility exalts a man's position with Allah. Thus be humble and Allah will shower you with mercy."
CONSIDERATION OF UNDER-PRIVILEGED PEOPLE
Under-privileged people are those people who are not as well off as we are.
This does not only mean wealth and clothes, it also means people who have physical and/or mental problems.
Allah has made everybody for a special reason, He has made some people big, some small, some white and some black.... all different types.
If you are lucky enough to perfectly healthy, you should not be proud because your body was not made by YOU. It has been made by Allah and so you should thank Allah.
The Prophet (S) has said:
"All of you are from Adam, and Adam was from dust."
This shows us that there is nothing to be proud of, we should remember that we are made only from dust.
If your body is not perfect, you should not complain because there are many other people with even more problems than you.
We should ALWAYS HELP those people who are not as fortunate as ourselves in whatever way we can, and NEVER EVER tease them.
If we do this, we are being considerate, if not than we are being very unkind and thoughtless.
The secret of being considerate is to pretend you were the other person, and try to see how life would be through his/her eyes.
At the end of the day, it is good enough just thinking about the under-privileged, we should DO something to help them.
The Arabic word for greed is Hirs.
To be greedy means to always want more and more without ever stopping. There are many areas in which people have greed, from food, clothes, power to money.
Greed, on most occasions, is bad because it means that you are not satisfied with what you have.
There is however ONE occasion where being greedy is good; this is when you are greedy for knowledge.
The Holy Prophet (S) has said
"Two greedy persons are never satisfied; those greedy for acquiring knowledge and those greedy for accumulating wealth."
One of the reasons to avoid greed is that it lowers the respect people have for you.
Example If a person is being greedy with food, and is eating with both hands and swallowing as much as possible, then people will look at him and wonder if he has ever seen food before!! They will think that he is still a baby and will have no respect for him.
You should always try to be satisfied with what Allah has given you. If you want more, then work for it, and Inshallah it will come. When you have a certain amount of something, ask yourself whether you NEED more, or are you being greedy. One of the best ways to stop greed, is to share what you have with others who need it.
MISERLINESS / TO BE STINGY
The Arabic word for miserliness is Bukhl.
A simple meaning for miserliness is to be stingy.
This means giving very little of what you have to someone who needs it.
Example: Imagine you were eating, and you had plenty of food. If a poor man came to the door and asked for something to eat, and you gave him a FEW GRAINS OF RICE, or a FEW CRUMBS OF BREAD, then that is being miserly.
Allah tells us in the Holy Qur'an:
"Make not your hand (tied like a miser's) to your neck, Nor stretch it forth to its utmost reach, so that you become blameworthy and destitute (have nothing left)."
This means that you should always be generous, but not so generous that you have nothing left!
If your mother asks you to help her for five minutes, and you set your stop-watch so that you help her for exactly five minutes and then go away, then that is being stingy.
There should never be any miserliness in the home. If your brother/sister wants to use something of yours, you should give it freely, and not count how much of it was used or how long it was used for.
The opposite of being stingy is being charitable. We have already talked about generosity, to be generous is to be charitable.
Allah explains to us about charity in the Holy Qur'an, Surah 2 ayat 261:
"The parable of those who spend their property in the way of Allah is as the parable of a grain growing seven ears with a hundred grain in every ear; and Allah multiplies for whom He pleases; and Allah is Ample-giving, Knowing."
The story of the miser who would never give his hand, but was willing to take someone elses
the coin of a miser is as worthless as a pebble, and maybe some other hadith on this
FITNA AND FASAAD
This means to spread rumours, and tell lies about people, with the niyyat (intention) of damaging their reputation.
It is like backbiting, except that the rumours are totally unjustified and untrue.
Another word for fitna and fasaad is slander (spoil someone's name)
Imam Hassan (A) has said:
"If a person comes to you and speaks ill of someone else, you should know that he is actually speaking ill of you. It is worth while to regard such a person as your enemy, and not to trust him, for lying, backbiting, trickery, deceit, jealousy, hypocrisy, duplicity and creating dissension go hand in hand with slander"
Imam Ali (A) has said:
"The worst of you are those who slander and create discord among friends. They will find fault with the innocent."
Slandering is such a bad deed, that the Holy Prophet (S) said that:
"A slanderer will not enter paradise."
Slandering is haraam because it damages someone's reputation, it is unfair on the one who is being slandered because people will think he has done things which he has not.
Slandering breaks the community, and cause enmity and hatred. It is one of the worst sins, and goes hand in hand with gheebat and other social crimes.
The only people who slander are cowards, if they see someone with whom people are good, they become jealous and want to tarnish his reputation. They do not have the courage insult face to face, and so go around like snakes slithering and whispering rumours in the dark.
This means to betray somebody. If you make a promise to help somebody, then just when they need you, you let them down, then this is an example of treachery.
During the time of Imam Hassan (A), Muawiya came to Ju'da, the wife of Imam (A), and offered her One Hundred Thousand Dirhams as well as the hand of his son Yazid, in marriage, if she would poison Imam.
Ju'da pretended to be loyal to Imam, after all she was his wife. She offered Imam (A) a drink in which she had already put poison. Imam (A) accepted and drank.
After forty days Imam Hassan (A) died from the poison, and Ju'da went to Muawiya to collect her payment. She received the money but Muawiya did not let her marry Yazid, since if she could BETRAY one husband, she could also BETRAY another.
This is an example of TREACHERY.
One reason why treachery is haraam is because when someone depends on you, or believes in you, you are responsible for his well being. Now, to turn around and do him harm when he doesn't expect it is to take advantage of him, and this is what is so bad.
There is a saying in English that treachery is like "stabbing someone in the back."hadith on breaking ones promise or word
JEALOUSY / ENVY
Envy means to want the same as somebody else has.
Another word for envy is covet.
This is a bad habit because it means that you are not satisfied with what Allah has given you.
In the Holy Qur'an (Surah 4, ayat 32) Allah says:
"And do not covet those things which Allah has given as gifts more freely on some of you than on others; for men shall have of what they earn, and women will have of what they earn: But ask Allah for his bounty. For Allah has full knowledge over all things."
Although jealousy and envy are often used together, there is a BIG difference between the two. Whereas envy means to crave someone else's position or property, jealousy (in its worst form) means not to want something that someone else has, but at the same time not wanting him to have it either.
There once was a man who had a farm. His neighbour also had a farm. One day the man saw his neighbour milking a beautiful cow. The cow was giving plenty of milk, and the milk was sweet and tasted excellent. The man did not like it and felt very angry that his neighbour should have such a good cow.
Then Shaytan came to the man and asked him what the problem was. The man pointed to the cow and said "Look what a wonderful cow my neighbour has." Shaytan replied, "Is that all, I will give you ten cows like that."
The man answered "I don't want even one cow like that, I just don't want my neighbour to have it!"
This shows how dangerous jealousy can be. It makes people lose their mind.
Imam Ali (A) has said :
"Jealousy eats up good deeds like a fire consumes wood."
We know the way in which dry wood is burnt and consumed by a hot raging fire. That is what jealousy does to our deeds.
"A jealous person can never be a leader of men."
This means that if you have a leader who is jealous, he will always be worried about himself, and will never want anyone else to have anything good. This means that his followers will be badly treated and oppressed, so they will leave him.
This means to make yourself look low and useless in front of someone else, like begging.
You should never humiliate yourself in front of anybody EXCEPT Allah, because HE is the only one to whom we should beg.
When you humiliate yourself, you lose your dignity, and show that you have little self respect.
Imam Husain (A) was once approached by a beggar for some money. Imam (A) told the treasurer to pay him one thousand Ashrafi (gold coins of the time). The beggar took the money, but instead of going away with it, he sat down to count and check every coin.
When he was asked why he was counting, the beggar replied, "Why not, I have sold my DIGNITY in begging."
On hearing this, Imam (A) said it was true, and ordered another thousand Ashrafi to be paid to him. When the beggar had counted and taken possession of two thousand coins, Imam (A) took a further thousand Ashrafi and gave it to the beggar, and uttered these words,
"The first thousand Ashrafi is in response to your begging, the second thousand Ashrafi is in RETURN for your DIGNITY, and the third thousand Ashrafi is for your visit, and coming to see me instead of going elsewhere to ask for help."
This shows, besides the generosity of Imam (A), that even the beggar has honour and dignity, and should never be humiliated by the giver. On the contrary, the giver should be thankful, since because of the beggar, he has earned something worth much more than money, ...thawaab.
When someone belittles (makes himself look small) himself, he is ridiculed and lacks courage.
Imam Jaffer As-Sadiq (A) has explained:
"Indeed, God has left to a believer all his dealings, except to belittle himself, for hasn't it been stated in the Qur'an, "But for God is ALL HONOUR and for HIS Apostle, and for the believers, but the hypocrites know it not.""
A lot of people in the world belittle themselves because they want something from other people, eg. if the boss makes a joke about you in front of people, and you just sit there, then you are belittling yourself just so that your boss can laugh.
Allah has made all men equal. Therefore, if you humiliate yourself for someone else, you think that person is greater than you. This means that by humiliating yourself for his money, or power, you are worshipping him. As a result you are bringing him on the same level as Allah, and that is becoming MUSHRIK (believing in more than one God.)
COMPLAINING WHEN IN DISTRESS
This is the opposite of sabr. It is a bad habit, and is one which takes away mercy from Allah.
To complain when misfortune falls upon us, shows that we have little faith in Allah. This is because Allah is testing us to see whether we have patience and forbearance.
If we try to overcome the problem, and say Alhamdulillah it was not worse, then we will pass the test.
If we don't do anything about it and just complain to Allah, and say "Why me!" and "It's not fair!" then we have failed the test, because Allah tells us in Surah 94, ayat 6:
"Verily, with every difficulty there is relief."
This means that no matter what difficulties we have in this world, if we have patience and try our best to remove them, Allah will help us, and we will have relief.
Therefore, if we have patience, then the problem will sort itself out with the grace of Allah.
Many people have a habit of complaining. This is called winging. These are the people who when it is winter, complain that it is too cold, and when it becomes summer, they complain that it is too hot. They will always find some reason to complain or criticise.
The important thing to learn from this lesson is that if you are in a problem, you should put in the effort to get out of that problem. If you are sincere, then Allah will help you. It may take a long time, but in the long run, you will be successful if your heart and intentions are in the correct place.
What is nagging? Nagging means to find fault in a person or scold, or complain without stop.
It is a dreadful habit, and can lead to people being fed up with you and leaving you alone.
If you nag someone, then it means that you keep on reminding them of something every few minutes. People do not like that. If you have something to say, then say it once. People will hear and remember what you said. If you keep on pestering them and remind them over and over then you will see that they will become irritated.
If you are in difficulty, then don't complain to others, don't ask them to help you, but ask Allah for His help.
When Prophet Yusuf (A) was thrown in the well by his brothers, his father was struck with grief. He did not sit there and moan. He took his grief and his complaint directly to the only One who could help him, Allah.
(12:84) "And he turned away from them, and said: "How great is my grief for Joseph!" And his eyes became white with sorrow, and he fell into silent melancholy."
(12:85) "They said: "By God! (never) will you cease to remember Joseph until you reach the last extremity of illness, or until you die!"
(12:86) "He said: "I ONLY COMPLAIN of my distraction and anguish TO GOD and I know from God that which you know not..."
This shows that you should only ask Allah when in need.
A lot of people nag their parents often. If the father or mother say that something will happen, ie "We will go for a picnic" then the children keep on reminding, "When are we going, are we going now !!"
They do this so often that the parents feel like saying "Sit down and keep quiet or we won't go at all."
Always remember, when you are told something by someone, then they will try their best to do it. They don't need you to remind them, they know already. If you keep nagging them, it will only cause frustration.
What examples of nagging have you observed? What does it feel to be nagged at by others?
USURPING OTHER PEOPLES' PROPERTY
Usurpation means to take something (seize) which is not yours, by force. The force can be physical, but is more often threats of another nature (blackmail etc.)
Usurpation is haraam because it is an unfair gain at the expense of the victim (person whose things are being usurped) who is powerless to help himself.
The person doing the usurping is using the worldly power and wealth given by Allah, to acquire the property/rights of someone who is not as well off.
One of the worst things to usurp is another person's rights. In many countries, you will find that the central authority do not give the population the basic, human rights which Islam commands for all people.
To steal is HARAAM. It means to take what does not belong to you with the niyyat (intention) of not returning it.
There are people who say that it is alright to steal as long as it from a non-Muslim. Does this make sense to you? Of course not !!
You are not allowed to steal from anybody, whether he is a Muslim or not.
Stealing does not just mean going and taking something. Very often it can occur in a more subtle way. If I buy a train ticket to get from A to B, and I use that same ticket to go to place C, even though I know that I am not allowed, then that is also stealing. This is known as fare cheating, and many people do it saying that it is not really stealing, but it is.
What about if you use someone else's travel card or ticket to go somewhere, after they have finished using it? Is that stealing. Think about your answer.
When an object is stolen, that object becomes Ghasbi (stolen property).
If for example a man who is fasting steals a shirt and wears it. Then, later on he offers his prayers, and in the evening he breaks his fast. Since the shirt was Ghasbi, both the Salaat and the fast will not be accepted.
WHY IS STEALING HARAAM ?
Stealing is forbidden because you are benefiting from other people while they lose out. You are gaining at someone else's loss. If someone is working to earn or get something, and you take it away from them, then it is unfair, and it is called stealing. That is why stealing is haraam.
To forsake duties means to give up doing something that you should do, or said that you would do.
There are three types of duties:
Duties i) towards Allah
ii) towards Muslims
iii) towards Mankind (including yourself)
An example of forsaking a duty towards Allah is not offering your prayers. This is HARAAM, and those people will not receive Allah's favour. The duties towards Allah are also duties to yourself, since everything that Allah has commanded us to do is for our own benefit.
An example of forsaking a duty towards Muslims is not burying a dead body. When a Muslim dies it is WAJIB to give the body ghusl and make sure that it has been buried according to Islam. If this is not done, then everyone who knew about the death will get gunah.
An example of forsaking a duty towards mankind is to cause harm to something that others need or use. Imagine you have a farm by the riverside, and you deposit fertiliser and other chemicals into it. If further downstream, people rely on that water for drinking, then it is your duty to ensure that you do not pollute the rives. It does not matter whether those people are Muslims or not, friends or enemies.
Islam is a religion for the whole world, and has rights for all things. Every creature, be it plant, animal of person has rights set by Islam, and we should learn to respect and obey them.
To bribe someone means to influence their decision by offering them payment of money or some other worldly gain.
This is a MAJOR sin and is condemned by Islam.
Imam Ali (A) has said that:
"God has cursed one who TAKES a bribe, one who GIVES a bribe and one who CAUSES a bribe to be taken."
The reason that Allah has forbidden bribery for us is that it is very UNFAIR.
Suppose that there is a person who is stealing money from a company. Now, if a second person sees the thief taking the money, this person can go and tell the Police.
If the thief says to the person, "If you don't tell anyone, I will give you some of the loot!!"
This means that the second person has changed his mind from calling the police to helping the thief get away. (ie he has been influenced.)
This is bribery. It is haraam because the person is letting money or other riches make up his mind, not his heart or conscience.
If something is right, you should do it, it doesn't matter what others say or think. If something is wrong, you should not do it, no matter how much people will pay you for it. Never let anything influence your decision from the truth.
A person who accepts a bribe is cursed by Allah, because he is selling his heart (conscience) for this world, this means in the next life, he will be among the losers.
What other examples of bribery can you think of?
Usury means to charge too much interest.
We all know that to charge interest is HARAAM anyway.
Interest means that if you lend money, you charge a bit extra when the person comes to pay you back.
Example: If you lent ,10 to me, and when I come to pay you back, you ask for ,11, then this is interest at 10%. This is haraam.
Usury means to charge too much interest.
Example: If you lent ,10, and when I come to pay you back, you ask for ,16, then that is usury, because the interest rate is now 60%.
Allah tells us in Qur'an, Surah 2, ayat 275,
"Those who devour usury..... they say "Trade is like usury", whereas Allah has made trade lawful and has forbidden usury."
Surah 2 ayat 278,279
"Oh you who believe! Fear Allah and give up your demand for usury, if you are indeed believers."
"If you do not, take notice of WAR from Allah and his Apostle."
Why is Usury haraam?
One of the reasons why usury is haraam is because you are taking advantage of people who are not as well off as yourself.
Whatever you have, money, or good clothes or some other wealth, you should thank Allah, because He is the one who gave them to you. Does He charge you interest on what He gives you?
Since that money is given to you, you have no right to lend it to somebody and ask back for more than you gave, because that is being greedy.maybe some hadith /ayat on greed and love of money, multiplying etc
To cheat means to gain something by trickery.
Cheating is HARAAM.
There are many different ways of cheating, a few examples are:
a) To hide the defect of a thing one sells to another person.
b) To copy someone during an exam.
c) To borrow money off a person and then never pay it back.
d) To collect money for a charity, and then spend it on yourself.
In English there is a saying,
"The end justifies the means"
This means that no matter what you do, it doesn't matter as long as the end result is good.
In Islam this is NOT the case. If you have to cheat to do something good, it is better not to do the good deed.
I want to donate some money to the mosque. Now, if I go around telling people that I am in hardship, and that I need money, and I donate the money which I am given to the mosque, will I get thawaab?
The answer is NO. Instead of getting thawaab, I will get gunah (sins) for cheating the people.
One thing about cheating is that no matter how many people you cheat, or how well you can cheat, you can NEVER cheat yourself or Allah. If you are cheating someone, your conscience (the positive aspect of the nafs) will realise immediately.
Some people say that it is OK to cheat people, as long as they are not Muslims.
This is NONSENSE!. All people have rights, and to cheat them out of their rights is forbidden, it does not matter who they are or what they believe in.
THE REASON WHY CHEATING IS HARAAM IS BECAUSE :
A. YOU ARE GAINING SOMETHING AT SOMEONE ELSE'S EXPENSE.
B) YOU ARE GAINING SOMETHING WITHOUT WORKING FOR IT.
Islam is very strict on justice. If you are to get something good, it must be through your own deeds, and not through someone else's.
This means to cheat someone by committing some type of fraud, or to divert money by deceit for one's own use.
This is a very common thing among large organisations, especially in the world today where very few people are guided with moral values. Even in such cases where the person committing the crime is aware of his actions, and his conscience is warning him of the act, he will silence himself, stub out his conscience by saying that it is allowed during business, because business is played by a different set of rules !
Embezzlement is haraam for many reasons, amongst which the unfair gain at someone else's loss is of primary importance.
We must always remember, no matter what action we do, Allah is a witness, watching over us. We should not commit any unlawful act for a variety of reasons, some include Taqwa (to be ashamed of gaining Allah's displeasure), and fear of the day of Judgement (Allah is not cruel, HE will, if HE wishes, forgive those sins committed accidentally, or repented for, but due to His justice, how can we expect forgiveness for those sins we do on purpose against others ?).
LOOKING AT FORBIDDEN (NA-MAHRAM) WOMEN AND MEN.
In Islam there is a great emphasis on virtue and piety. This is demonstrated by the importance of hijab.
Hijab does not mean to wear black all the time, it is a form of cover which protects BOTH men and women from staring at each other and help to maintain their dignity. Hijab allows men and women to talk on equal terms, since the man does not get distracted by the lady's beauty, and maintains a respectful distance from her so that he concentrates on what she says. The actual presence of the hijab causes the man to lower his glance.
Hijab comes in two stages, the first stage, which applies to both men and women is the most important. This stage is to LOWER THE EYES. This means that a man should not look at a women who is na-mahram (forbidden) to him. This does not mean that you are not allowed to see or talk to a lady, but means that you should confine your gaze within the boundaries of modesty, ie you should not STARE at her face, you should avoid looking directly into her eyes.
The second stage applies to ladies only, and is the covering of the hair, and wearing of loose clothes which do not reveal the shape of her body.
Prophet Muhammad (S) has said that, the first look you take is for you, and the second look is against you.
This means that when you look at something, ie a lady without hijab, or anything else haraam, the first look is for you to see what it is, so that you know whether it is good or bad. If it is bad and you look a second time, then it is against you, and you are committing a sin.
Prophet Isa (A) has said:
"To look at a lady with lust in your eyes is to commit adultery with her in your heart."
This shows that to stare with desire at a lady is a sin which should be avoided. You cannot just say that you are enjoying the view, because your niyyat will be corrupt (bad).
Why is it forbidden to look at na-mahram women? Allah has told us that to enter heaven, we must control two things,
a) our appetite (what we eat)
b) our desires (what our nafs wants)
We control our appetite, by refraining from haraam food. In the same way we control our soul by refraining from haraam scenes.
The way haraam food is bad for our body, haraam scenes are bad for our soul.
The soul is like pure clean water, and that which holds it (our body), is like a vase. Whatever we see through our eyes enters the water of our soul. If we look at bad things, then we are polluting (making dirty) the water and so our soul becomes dirty and this makes us do other things even worse.
We have to keep our soul clean by only allowing those things which are clean to enter our soul.
Not only should men avoid close contact with women who are unrelated to them, but the women should also avoid such contact with men, whether it is at school, university or on the street.
Whenever two people are present together, then Shaytan quickly becomes the third person, and starts trying to plant his evil thoughts.