Reconciliation between parties is compulsory
By: Ayatullah Shaheed Syed Abdul Husayn Dastaghaib Shirazi
It is ordered in the beginning of Surah Anfal: Observe piety, make peace among yourselves. How many times have you committed this sin of giving up the reconciliation duty? Have you ever repented from this sin? Firstly, to be angry for personal desire and inclination is unlawful and thereafter it is also compulsory to bring about reconciliation between others.
Have we given up reconciliation? Fire should not be inflamed between two fellows who are angry at one another. One conveys the word of this to that and the word of that to this. If a man and his wife have quarreled, since you, who are the head of the family or anyone who is belonging to this family, after knowing this, it is your or his duty to make reconciliation between the couple. He should not say: I am not concerned and also: What I have to do! The Holy Qur’an commands: Observe piety, make peace among yourselves. This is a clear command. At another place the Qur’an orders: Make peace between your brothers. The two persons who quarreled have done wrong and committed a sin. You do not do another sin. Bring reconciliation between the two.
In the night of 21st Ramadhan, your master Ali as a part of his will to his sons, said: My will to you two of my sons (Hasan and Husain) and to every Shia and every Faithful believer till the Day of Judgment is piety. Do not follow your heart’s inclination beyond a limit. Do not become angry to much extent on the basis of desire. Observe God’s commands. Look at God. Let bygone be bygone for God’s sake. Then said, "Make peace between people. I have myself heard my cousin, the last Prophet Muhammad Mustafa say, ‘Reconciliation between people is more virtuous than all prayers and fasts.’"
If you see that there is ill will between a woman and her husband or between two friends you see that there is reconciliation between them. It is higher than offering prayer. It is narrated that the Holy Prophet said, "After obligatory deeds, no deed is higher than making peace between people." Any amount of money can be used to do this duty. If necessary, even tell an untrue thing. Spend your money. Arrange feasts. Invite guests. These are the best worship acts for you. A lie spoken for the sake of removing enmity in such circumstances will be recorded as truth in the sight of God. Give importance to mutual reconciliation, especially between a man and his wife.
Reconciliation between a man and his wife brought about by Amirul Momineen
It is mentioned in Biharul Anwar that in a day of extremely hot summer before noon our Sayyid and Chief, Ali bin Abi Talib came out of his house. Shadows of walls were decreasing and the sun was burning hot. The Imam was perspiring profusely. One of his companions who passed by him asked, "O Amirul Momineen! This is time for rest. Please return home and recline in shade. How is it that you have come out in such a hot sun and are sitting on a street?" He replied to the effect, "I have come out with a hope that perhaps I may help an oppressed person. If there is any dispute, I may settle it." At that time a woman came weeping and complaining and said, "O Ali! Please provide justice to me." Ali asked, "What happened?"
The lady replied, "My husband has beaten me and has driven me out of the house and he has also sworn not to readmit me. I have no place other than my husband’s house." Hearing this, Ali got up at once and asked, "Where is your house." As shown by her it was quite far away from town. I do not recollect. It may be some miles away. The Imam went ahead and the woman behind him in this hot air at noon. Amirul Momineen did not stop until they reached that house. He called the man. It is a detailed narration. Finally the Imam made the lady enter her house and ordered the husband to behave with love, kindness and affection peacefully.
You too should, to the best of your ability, make such reconciliation.
Reconciliation between a man and his wife brought about by Amirul Momineen
The holy month of Ramadhan is full of so many bounties, especially during the nights of Qadr (19th, 21st and 23rd). There are three kinds of people who do not get benefit in it: First, a drunkard who does not repent, secondly, one who has been disowned and cursed by his parents. Let us hope no Muslim is among them. Who is the unfortunate one who is disowned by his parents? Yes, it is narrated that there can be a man who behaved nicely with his parents while they were alive and pleased with him. But after their death, one can become disobedient. T
hey asked the Imam, "How can it be so?" The Imam replied, "Because, after their death, he never remembers them. So they also weep on this account." So think of those unfortunate ones. The prayers, which were due to them, perform those prayers. Fast for the fasts, which they missed to observe, or employ someone to perform them. If they were indebted, pay off their debts… Thereafter, do not forget them in the matter of charity. At least, pray for them saying: O Allah! Forgive my parents and me and be merciful on them. Qur’an commands so: O Allah! Forgive my parents and me and be merciful on them. Just as they brought me up when I was small.
The third group, which is deprived of the bounties of Ramadhan, is of those who keep and maintain hatred in their hearts for Muslims. So anyone who has any ill will for his relatives or non-relatives must drive that hatred from his heart. Also give gifts to him and ask pardon so that God may make good your losses.
He said, "From the two who quarreled the one who went ahead for making reconciliation will enter Paradise first." Moreover, if you come to know about conflict between two persons, make peace between them even by spending money generously.
Imam’s expenditure on reconciliation between Shias
Abu Hanifah Saiqul Hajj (not the well-known Abu Hanifah) says, "There was enmity and ill will between me and my son-in-law. It came into public in the market or Kufa." It was on account of the inheritance of his daughter. The information reached Imam Ja’far bin Muhammad as-Sadiq. He said, "What is the matter? Please come to me." He took us to his (Imam’s) house. The Imam asked, "How much are your claims?" Finally, he advised us to make peace, settling the matter on payment of four hundred dirhams. Then Mufaddal himself went inside the house and brought four hundred dirhams and handed the amount to me saying, "Please kiss one another and make peace." An agreement of reconciliation was then written accordingly.
(If you want to make reconciliation, then if the trouble is due to money, or material wealth, open your purse and spend your money for this precious deed. This expense is in the path of and for the pleasure of God.)
Then Mufaddal said, "This money which I gave to you for making peace between you was not my own. It belonged to the Imam. The Imam had told me that this money must be used for reconciliation between Shias."
Advent of Imam Mahdi for reconciliation
O those who long for the advent of the Imam Mahdi know that his work is improvement and reconciliation. If you are telling the truth that you like reconciliation and improvement then why do you not work for it? When Imam Mahdi arrives, he would arrive for world peace. Then all will become pious.
Everyone who is for peace and piety waits for such time. If a man is not for peace and piety, even if he recites Dua Nudba it is of no use. You say: Where is that heavenly reformer who will remove these discord, differences? But what about yourself? Why do you not drive away disputes? Why do you not make peace with your own wife, brother and friend? What is going on in courts? Somebody says that in courts many cases belong to family disputes. Many wives have complaints against their husbands and many husbands against their wives. Why a woman goes to make complaint against her husband in public? Where are the people of yesterday? We remember them saying that the woman arrives in a black veil and goes out in a white shroud. Women of olden days used to protect the honor of their husbands, they did not make public issue of their private differences.
Someone said: It is written in a newspaper that in the said family court a lady had written in her claim demanding divorce that, "My husband bought a car for me. But the number on it was out of fashion. I ask for a new automobile but he says he does not have it. I do not want such a husband."
It is must for one to move towards sound morals and then only say: O Lord! Where is the Master who comes to enact peace for all everywhere so that all may live like brothers, wherever one looks there be only love and affinity. The time of the appearance of Hujjattibnul Hasan (Imam Mahdi) makes minds flourish, increases faith and causes piety to spread, that is, lust and greed will go away with the wind.
It is necessary to have the taste of life in the time of Imam of the time. If you want a life worth living, it is life in his era. Otherwise, this life is nothing but barbarity. What kind of a life is this that people are ready to commit suicides as there is nothing like kindness and faithfulness in life?
I saw in a newspaper sometime back that in some of the countries, those who reach an advanced age, their condition becomes, be they males or females, pitiable because, others including their children and relatives have no sympathy for them. So they establish government homes, like poor houses, called Homes for the Old. Whoever becomes old and is out of work, he or she is transferred to such houses. They do have children and wealth but no one cares for them. Yet, if there is an iota of comfort, it is in Islamic countries due to the blessings of Islamic teachings. But they (evil forces) want that this should also be removed from the society and that the foul smell of selfishness should spread among you also. But I hope that things will improve so that there may be preparedness for the arrival of Master of the Age and the world reformer may be aided. How do you become an assistant of the Imam of the time? Should you take up guns and grenades? No, it is not so. Helping Master of the Age is in reform and wisdom, peace and improvement. Improvement of self and of others, rising higher and higher if one has wife and children.
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"And certainly We wrote in the Book after the reminder that (as for) the land, My righteous servants shall inherit it."
Pious people are the helpers of the Master of the Age (Wali Asr). They are the righteous servants (Ibaadiyas swaalihoon) of God, not of passions and desires. They are not corrupt. Corruption means selfishness, greed and lust. The coercion, which they inflict upon one another, is corruption or mischief, which ends in bloodshed and corruption in the land of God.
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"And remember when He made you successors after Ad and settled you in the land- you make mansions on its plains and hew out houses in the mountains- remember therefore Allah’s benefits and do not act corruptly in the land, making mischief."
So this peace making is in remembering God. Remember Him so that you may become competent for it. Let it never be so that when you hear a word from someone about someone else, you repeat and relate it and thus fan the fire of enmity. The good of both this world and the Hereafter are in peace and reconciliation. Like wise the destruction of the life and Hereafter is in lust and greed.
It is mentioned in Surah Shams after the oath taking that:
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"He will indeed be successful who purifies it. And he will indeed fail who corrupts it."
Meaning: Succeeded the one who cleansed his heart and deprived oneself who destroyed it. Let aside your heart. Just see how God deals with you. If you know the tastefulness of leaving aside selfishness, you will not say that selfishness has any good in it.
If you trample upon your desires your honor also increases. Do not say: It is repulsive. It is not so. Satan puts doubts in your heart. He does not spare you.
God is Mighty. So whoever works for God is also strong.
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"…and to Allah belongs the might and to His Apostle and to the believers…"
Whenever one turns towards God, he approaches his honor, respect and good luck. But when he is caught in the net of desires and passions he is in meanness, adversity, downfall and misfortune. The meaning of this will become clearer with a Qur’anic story.